— Emerson (courtesy of my friend Emily)
I have a friend who always seems to be in a good place. I asked him what he does to live with such joy. He suggested, among other things, “Try walking into a store and buying a pint of Cherry Garcia ice-cream, a box of condoms and a bottle of Jack. Make sure to smile, look people in the eye, and say hello. Do not be ashamed. You will make yours and everybody else’s day more remarkable.”
On a somewhat related note, I was in a CVS the other day and noticed that condoms are in the “Family Planning” isle. While “family planning” may be a good overarching title (euphemism really) for a set of reproduction related goods and services, it’s kind of a bizarre and misleading way to talk about condoms, which are really mostly used for the unplanned. Have you ever heard anybody say, “Amie, I really like you. How about we go back to my place and plan a family.” ?
The other day I was in Trader Joe’s and on the way to checkout saw some flowers that I really liked. I spent five minutes selecting the perfect bouquet and put it in my cart. At checkout began the expected conversation:
Cashier: [smiling] Ah, a special someone. What’s the occasion?
Me: [laughing] Well, I woke up young and handsome today…they’re for me.
Cashier: [chuckling, obviously thinks I’m kidding] Sure, why not.
Me: No, really, I feel like I should have flowers in my life today.
It is ok for a man to buy himself flowers. Try it sometime.