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A recollection of 9/11

It struck me a couple months back, talking to the girls I mentor, that despite growing up in its shadow, many kids today don’t really have a sense of what 9/11 was, what it meant, what it means.

I remember the day well. I was coming out of first period English class when I got news that the first plane had struck. Students and teachers huddled around TVs, excited, hushed, then horrified. My little sister came to me crying and I held her as we tried to get our young minds around it all.

School got out early the afternoon and when I got home I joined my neighbor Bekah on her porch swing. We sat there in silence mostly. We lived in Anacostia, between Bowling and Andrews Air Force Bases and there was a constant traffic of planes and helicopters overhead, presaging the shock and awe to come.

That night I couldn’t sleep. I ached quietly for those we’d lost, and for the people who’d feel their loss most agonizingly. I ached, too, for what we would lose. Young as I was, I remember having a clear sense of what the events of that day meant. 

I was heartbroken in anticipation. 

I new that the terror was just beginning; that these next years could be dark ones for high ideals at home, and hellish ones for anonymously-brown people in places invisible to our moral esteem.

At school on September 12th, we were invited to share reflections on the moment we were living through. I shared a poem I’d scrawled on notepaper the uneasy night before. It appeared in the Washington Post’s 9/11 memorial centerfold the next week.

I only really recall the opening verse:

That majestic pair,

The twin towers, 

Symbols of power’s mighty swell, 

Cowered in jet plane’s rough embrace, 

Then crumbled and fell.

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How to react

…there was this shared feeling of catharsis certainly, but also the uneasy knowing that celebration is not quite proper, that reflection is in order, that we owe our selves better than the drunkenness of cheap vengeance. Justice, if this is justice, requires a certain decorum, a certain dignity, that places weight on the value of a life, even when it requires that life be taken. There is no place here for levity. Not least because this event, while it represents a symbolic close to one episode, is almost certainly the beginning of another. God I hope we have not made the most powerful martyr.