Proud, preening middle-class parent that you are, you’re constantly looking for and developing genius in your children (mathematics, music, athletics etc…). Well, starting next month I’ll be offering private lessons in Political Entrepreneurship. In a series of one-on-one sessions I’ll teach your child a curriculum tailored to their unique developmental needs. Topics will include topic evasion, genuflection, scandal recovery, character assassination, soaring oratory, coded language, naked, repeated lying and bourgeois sociopathy.
Resist the easy comforts of complacency, the specious glitter of materialism, the narcotic paralysis of self-satisfaction. Be worthy of your advantages. And read… read all the time… read as a matter of principle, as a matter of self-respect. Read as a nourishing staple of life. Develop and protect a moral sensibility and demonstrate the character to apply it. Dream big. Work hard. Think for yourself. Love everything you love, everyone you love, with all your might. And do so, please, with a sense of urgency, for every tick of the clock subtracts from fewer and fewer; and as surely as there are commencements there are cessations, and you’ll be in no condition to enjoy the ceremony attendant to that eventuality no matter how delightful the afternoon.